The Earthquake Disaster in Haiti

All our best going out to the victims of the Haitian Disaster especially to the children and those who lost children

A few facts before we get to the tragedy, that is being well covered by others already…and just so we’re all on the same page…Haiti is in the Caribbean, and comprises the western one-third of the island of Hispaniola, between the Caribbean Sea and the North Atlantic Ocean, due west of the Dominican Republic, which comprises the rest of the island.

The Earthquake Disaster in Haiti

And the Worst Bastard of the Year Award goes to...

The US Supreme Court: for allowing manufacturers to ' price-fix '

The US Supreme Court just killed a 96 year old law forbidding Companies from getting together and price-fixing...forcing the consumer to bear whatever cost they set it at...essentially eliminating price competition in the marketplace if companies go ahead and fix prices

Justices End 96-Year-Old Ban on Price Floors

Striking down an antitrust rule nearly a century old, the Supreme Court ruled today that it is no longer automatically unlawful for manufacturers and distributors to agree on setting minimum retail prices.

The court struck down the 96-year-old rule that resale price maintenance agreements were an automatic, or per se, violation of the Sherman Antitrust Act. In its place, the court instructed judges considering such agreements for possible antitrust violations to apply a case-by-case approach, known as a “rule of reason,” to assess their impact on competition.

Justices End 96-Year-Old Ban on Price Floors - New York Times

Slap Me Silly

A new thread over at TAZForum where you can exercise your true bastard qualities, in the fine art of constructed flame wars. Of course, that thread is unavailable for newbies...you first have to get in the hidden area reserved for the best TAZZers.

If you have a good sense of humor, can take it and dish it out, aren`t the overly sensitive type, and a true bastard at heart...then...

you really want to check it out!

The Bastard SysAdmin Episode II, Chapter I - By Dinowuff

The Bastard SysAdmin Episode II, Chapter I - By Dinowuff

Well for those of you, who have been following my return; let me give you a quick update. After the fiasco a few months back with the unauthorized software install, video clips that put worlds funniest to shame and the introduction of fresh food and Julie to my humble yet bastardized existence, I am now the Director of Information Services for Hugh Company Inc.

At first I thought that I may have made a mistake. The first few weeks I interviewed hundreds of applicants for my old position. Covered budget requirements and sat in on mission planning meetings. Now I thought I was the world’s worst bastard. That I could make people feel pain nth times more than the devil himself. I was wrong. The companies CFO, with all his financial prowess and complete understanding of cubes and financial technology – well in short. This guy can make your eyes bleed. Sitting in overview comities with this guy explaining future material costs and justifiable insurance capital investments… Well I almost got to the point of feeling inferior. ALMOST.

I walked in the house one Friday after work only to find Julie in the kitchen humming away to some metal tune long forgotten. I started telling her about my latest round of interviews. After a few minutes she just started laughing and asked why I was being so nice?

Ever been hit on the side of the head with a 2X4? Yup just like that I changed my tune.

Being the head of IT is o.k., but the lusers never complain to me because no one is working under me. I keep everything up and running smoothly. I really can’t screw with the users as I’m the only one here less the Tier I person that has become my ad hoc secretary. So I now need, not only a scapegoat, but an apprentice – if I’m lucky.

Over the weekend I reviewed all the resumes I had received. I searched for phrases like u r and cya. I gathered every resume that did not include a cover page. The more misspelled words the better. Preparing for Monday morning I emailed every applicant whose resume had the phrase u r and no cover letter with the following.

__________________________________________________________________________
Dear Applicant:

This is an automated email – Please do not reply.

If you know the answer to “Life, The Universe and Everything”
please contact me to schedule an in person interview.
_________________________________________________________________________

For all the applications that were so misspelled I sent the following.
_________________________________________________________________________
Dear Applicant:

This is an automated email – P;ease donot send ack

if ur interceded in interviweeing for the position of system admeinistror –

pl;eae bring a coyp of this to your interview monday morning let me know when youcan come for an intervies

do not respone to this email.
_________________________________________________________________________

I used my hotmail account and attached their original resume so they would know what position I was referring to. Come Monday I’m going to have some fun.

TAZ Forum :: A Computer, Gaming, and Social Network Community of Friends :: TAZForum :: View topic - My personal Bastard Stories

THE BASTARD OPERATOR FROM HELL IN BRITAIN #1

"...I'd like to escalate this call please.."

"I'm sorry?" I can't help but be a little surprised at this guy's tone.

"I'd like to escalate the severity of this call. Surely a person in your situation is aware of the new International Standard regarding fault logging and tracking..."

He's obviously insane. There's no other reason why he'd call me this early on a monday afternoon, as soon as I've got to work...

"What was your username?"

He tells me, and some all-too-familiar key clicking noises follow. I notice his account has the pervert flag set, and yet he has no gif files in his directory - which can only mean one thing....

"Now, this escalation business, you want me to increase the priority with which I'll handle this call?"

"Yes!"

"Tell you what, I'll double it" I say, in gentle, soothing tones

"Good" he mutters

"...Now, twice nothing is nothing, and because it's an ESCALATED priority call, it goes into the RED rubbish bin instead of the brown one."

"WHAT!" he screams "DO YOU KNOW WHO YOU'RE TALKING TO?!?!"

continued here...

BOFH in Britain #1

The Bastard SysAdmin Returns – Part I by: Dinowuff

The Bastard SysAdmin Returns – Part I by: Dinowuff

Why do I try? I am a personable individual. I care. I feel for my common man. Everyone should be able to understand and use technology. I will help everyone.

*ARGGGGGGGG* *SCREAM* Cold sweats. Talk about night terrors.

The last few nights I have awoken from nightmares in where I am at some touchy-feely "cum-by-yha" group camp type thing. It’s a good thing my phone rang to wake me from the dream – I’ll just maim the idiot calling me. Least I can do since the luser did end my nightmare. Turns out it’s not a luser calling me, it’s my network.

See, whenever any admin account is changed, my cell phone rings. Now I don’t like to admit this but I have one of those Windows Mobil pda phone things. So I see the administrator account has changed, and know I didn’t do it. I quickly launch a SSL connection to the network and see that my two bosses are logged on. Since they don’t have VPN accounts (that work after 10:30 p.m.) I know they are in the office. I launch a Perl script that changes security templates on the windows DC’s thus disabling all admin accounts (except mine) and all sorts of other things. I think ADC is disabled also – hey there goes email.

It's 0300 Saturday Morning, and some idiot is trying to mess with my network. Even though, whoever it is wont be able to do anything – because the whole damn network is disabled, might as well go in seeing how I don’t want to go back to camp touchy feel.

I stop at the local barf and puke and get a sandwich to go. Now I know it's zero dark thirty, but What THE FUCK? I did not ask for diet coke. /me throws diet coke out the window into a passing car. That will teach them to keep their windows rolled up! WINDOWS ARGGGGGGGGGUH

I am getting increasingly angrier. At least the latest Install has gone PERFECT! Yea, who's the man, I am - I am, dance of joy proceeds in brain. I pull into the parking ramp and notice 8 cars parked in the ramp. And one of the cars is parked in MY SPOT! I got that spot after the company controller expressed "interest" in my IT purchases. Poor guy lost his wife, kids, job and freedom. Got to love those online sex offenders’ lists and the idiot D.B.A.’s that run them. That reminds me. There should be a global link between the NIS and European databases. To do: Ensure FBI database credentials are still in tact.

Entering the west end of the building I see the glow from my date center illuminating the darkness. “Hum”, I say aloud to no one, I know I turned the lights off when I left. Entering the data center the first thing I see is my boss’s boss sweating profusely. Three other guys are running from monitor to monitor trying to… Do something. My boss is in the corner trying to manipulate his palm pilot for; again, unknown reasons.

With a calm but “All Knowing” voice I announce: “What are you doing”? The banter ceases and all eyes are on me. Good. At least they won’t all die instantly.

Someone comes forward and introduces herself.

“I am Rhonda (something). I am a Certified Microsoft blah blah blah”.

“Hello Rhonda, what are you doing here”?

“I’m respon…”

“She’s here to complete the failed upgrade you performed last weekend” Interrupts the boss.

“You mean the one that worked perfect all last week? The one that saved your ass from being fired? Now unless I know what it is you are attempting, I can’t help.

“You will help or you are out of a job MISTER”

Oh yea, hollow threats. And what’s with this mister shit? I don’t reply and find Rhonda. The Big boss is nowhere to be found and my boss has gone back to his corner, thinking I’m about to help.

Rhonda explains that her company was hired to come in and install some kind of home grown software that supposedly monitors employee network usage, emails whatever. They tried installing it with my Boss’ user ID but of course he doesn’t have admin rights on his X-Box, much less the network. So she explained that she changed the administrator password and then in about 25 minutes somehow file, print, and DNS services just shut down and disabled themselves one by one. That’s what the other guys are running about trying to figure out, but none of the accounts they have can access the event logs.

Well, now that I know no damage has been done or can be done, I sit down at my desk and start reading archived copies of last weeks email. Seems while I was busy with my upgrade, the boss was busy contracting this company to install SPY software. Oh and look here, he didn’t get approval from upper management. Oh Oh look! A word.doc from my boss to his boss saying to the effect, if asked just tell them that you knew nothing about this install.

Well I quietly turn on a little known print server, pack up my laptop and head over to the corner where my boss is hiding.

“Listen” I say in a most condescending voice. “You’re the idiot who bought this shit, you fix it” I’m going home, do not call me, do not swing by my house. I will be in around 9 or 10 Monday morning”.

The boss thinks for a second and yells you’re fired as I walk out the datacenter room door. On my way out I turn off the lights and the parking lot security cameras.

I’m going to really enjoy my weekend!

TAZ Forum :: A Computer, Gaming, and Social Network Community of Friends :: TAZForum :: View topic - My personal Bastard Stories

BOFH: The revenge

"Impressive," our recent ex-new-Boss says nervously, edging towards the back of the room. "How did you... find us?"

"Simple," the PFY says, entering from the door behind him, cattleprod in hand. "One of the laptops you took wasn't exactly what it looked like."

"Bitlocker?" the ex-new-technician asks, halting his in-tandem retreat along with the ex-Boss.

"No," I respond, fingering my own modded prod. "The machine had built in wireless and GPS and used scripted netstumbler to peer with any access points it could find and report its location."

"Really?" the ex-boss asks.

"Nah, the PFY lifted your wallet the day you started and stole your credit card details and personal information. We followed you here from your home."

"Ah," the ex-Boss says. "Which was why I found my wallet on the floor behind my desk last week."

"Indeed. Why steal a wallet when the cards would be deactivated within the day? No, it's far better that you feel you mislaid it for a moment and give us the opportunity to order a month's worth of crap to be delivered to your home."

"Crap?"

continued here:

BOFH: The revenge | The Register